Virtual Funnybone

Tired of searching the web for countless hours trying to find something new on YouTube to entertain you? While you can still continue to waste time on this often less-than-fruitful search, I may have found a optional solution to your needs…

WEB COMICS

I personally find this to be a rather pleasant change of scene from the ‘Sittin on tha toilet’ videos floating around on YouTube. If you find a good web comic, you get to read it (which means you can do this whenever you happen to have internet and a laptop, silently) and they are usually full of intelligent humor and witty comebacks.

There are two web comics that I keep up with regularly. Both are kinda nerdy (as most web comics are) and both are very different in artistic style.

xkcd

xkcd is geared more towards the scientific, computer savvy and overall nerd crowd. It’s in a minimalistic setting and you definitely need to have a taste for smart humor. You don’t actually have to read the comics in order (most of the time) but there are some comic series, so it might be better to start at the beginning.

But for now, here’s an example below of one from a few days before..

nachos

I highly recommend this comic by Randall Munroe. It’s updated every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Here’s the link! http://xkcd.com/1/

And now for the second one.

Questionable Content

This comic by Jeph Jacques is a hilarious and witty story about Marty, his anthropod Pintsize, and other friends and their eventful lives. For this series you HAVE TO start at the beginning of the whole thing, and trust me, once you start reading, you won’t be able to stop until you’ve reached the latest one. This comic is definitely for the music/indie snobs and overall smart-ass people.

A plus with this comic is that you get to see the progression of Jeph’s drawing abilities over time. His art and comics just get better and better. His characters are lovable and quirky, content always unexpected and you are almost always guaranteed a laugh.

I don’t have a picture of an actual comic of his, but here is one of the characters.

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Here’s the link to QC http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1 It’s updated every day, Monday through Friday.

I hope you guys enjoy these as much as I do.

Laughing ’til your cheeks hurt,

Mary Jane

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Fashion 001 at Drake University

First fashion blog! GET EXCITED!

Welcome to the rules of college fashion, Drake U style. Let me fill you in on some of the basics of cold weather dressing.

UGGS AND SWEATPANTS ARE A MUST!102430479_36b22d3d97
Not! This looks absolutely horrible. Do not tuck your baggy sweatpants into your Ugg boots and think that it looks cute, relaxed or even practical. Really, it makes your legs look huge when your sweats are billowing out like bad imitations of MC Hammer’s pants. Not only that, it looks really sloppy. Now, if you wear your pant legs OVER your Uggs, this is fine. Because then it just looks like shoes and sweats. No big deal.

FREAK OUT AS SOON AS THE TEMPERATURE DECIDES TO DROP 10 DEGREES!
Also, a no. You look ridiculous with your scarf, beanie, mittens, Uggs, and down-feather puffy coat. Pick ONE of these things or lighter versions of these and then you will look practical and like you know how to dress for the weather.

OPAQUE LEGGINGS AND ALMOST LONG SHIRTS THAT DON’T QUITE COVER YOUR BUTT ARE FINE!!

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Thank you Paris for demonstrating why these are NOT PANTS

Once again, no, it’s not fine. Don’t get me wrong, the leggings and long shirt thing going on is cute but only if you do it right! I see so many girls walking around campus with long-ish shirts and leggings, thinking that you can’t see their bright pink underwear. Oh honey, you definitely CAN see them. So please, be absolutely sure when you wear this look that your shirt doesn’t ride up when you walk and if it does, that you are wearing something that covers your bits and doesn’t clash with your leggings. Be sensible and classy, girls!!! Is that so hard?

I know that was a bit harsh, but that is my fashion advice to Drake girls at the moment. Next week’s fashion blog will be more about what’s new on the market and my thoughts. Once in a while I’ll throw in another one of these telling the lovely people out there the DO NOT’s of fashion. =]

Lace underwear and holey sweats,

Mary Jane Morgan

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Popcorn!

Yay movie blog!

This weeks movies are pretty exciting, so let’s get the film rolling!

Dare

Emmy Rossum, Zach Gilford and Ashley Springer star with Ana Gasteyer, Rooney Mara, Sandra Bernhard and Alan Cumming in a story of high school seniors that is full of love, jealousy, and quite a good twist. When a pompous actor tells good girl Alexa (Rossum) that she hasn’t lived, she embarks on a bold journey that takes her to mysterious bad boy Johnny (Gilford). Envious, her shy best friend Ben (Springer) also dares to pursue Johnny, complicating Alexa’s romance and pushing the boundaries among the three friends.*

Overall this looks way better than most teen movies. It seems to have a depth behind it that is lacking in today’s young adult world. I’ve been a big fan of Emmy since I saw her in Phantom of the Opera and she looks very promising in this film.

Here’s the link for the trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf9se-dHBjE

Zombieland

Zombieland is a horror/comedy flick starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin as survivors of a zombie apocolapse. Together they take an extended road trip in an attempt to find a sanctuary free from zombies, following a set of “rules” designed to keep them alive where others have failed, all the while trying to “enjoy the little things” in a post-apocalyptic world, killing zombies.*

This movie is pretty funny. I saw it a couple weeks ago and really enjoyed it. BUT be prepared, the zombies are pretty gory. This isn’t your kinda fake looking Shaun of the Dead style of zombie, they are definitely gross. So if that freaks you out and you’re not into a lot of gore, wait and watch it with a group of friends at home. But I recommend it. Super good.

Here’s the link for it’s trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8faZ9LRors

Precious

This is the movie I’m OBSESSING over right now. It looks soooooo good. Here’s the synopsis.

Clareece “Precious” Jones is an overweight, illiterate African-American teen in Harlem. Just as she’s about to give birth to her second child, Jones is accepted into an alternative school where a teacher helps her find a new path in her life.*

So this is going to be amazing. I am looking forward to this movie so much. I can’t even express. Just see for yourself, the trailer is below.

 

See you at the movies,

Mary Jane

 

 

*Derived from the synopsis on the official movie website or other site

 

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twitter me this, twitter me that

I am mildly obsessed with twitter… and by mildly I really mean that I twitter more than I probably should, but not every ten seconds.
Ego trip time: I had twitter at least two to three years ago. I was AHEAD of the trend. Thank you.
But that’s not really what’s important. ;]

This is the first blog out of a series that will be focusing on who I follow on twitter that YOU should also be following.

Today’s twitter-er is Matthew Dave Lewis aka Neville Longbottom if you’re a HP fan.matthewlewis74808412CG108_HARRY_POTTER_

He often gives updates about working on films, posts pictures of himself and links to sites he’s interested in at the moment. A lot about people he’s met, worked with or admires, too!
I would have to say his specialty though, is posting about sports, European and American.

Here’s his twitter http://twitter.com/Mattdavelewis

Get excited for the next one in two weeks!

Next blog is the weekly movie blog! Tomorrow night =]

Happy twittering,

Mary Jane

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Single and Looking

Apologies and Halloween follow-up

First of all, I apologize for the lack of blog for Halloween. It’s kind of an event for me and my roommates, plus having an old high school friend up for a visit made for not so much time for blogging.

Halloween is unfortunately over. How sad! My Halloween was full of candy, Harry Potter, college costume humor (and sluts), and all the festivities that go with. It was a long and fun night. Pictures below (top to bottom) of Kendra (aka banner that said Kostume) and myself and Jennifer the cop and I.

kendrameedit

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Oh, Ginny time was probably the best time of my life….okay that’s an exaggeration. More pictures another blog!

Now, enough about Halloween, as I need to get over it because it is well, over.

What this blog is about is actually kind of silly.
Everyone on any social site will know what I’m talking about when I say the Bod Profilers. You all have been friend requested by these people. They’re the ones that add you on MySpace or Facebook, usually saying something along the lines of “wutz up cutay?”, “Wanna party?”, “it wud b cool to get to no u better” or “lets chat”, and have their default picture of their abs and/or chest. Often times, their names are a weird spelling using symbols or something like “Hot Rocker” or “(name) Single and Looking.”

abs-main_Full

IDK who's these are. See? Nice, but too much for profile picture. Where's your face? What if it's ugly? Ew.

Why am I bringing this up? Because it happens ALL THE TIME to me! What I really want to know is, why are they posting pictures of themselves half-naked? And why do they advertise the fact that they are single in their display names and or statuses? Do they think that it’s going to attract females to their sites if they have nice abs or have banners stating their availability? Are they trying to impress and intimidate fellow men? Maybe it’s some sort of secret guy competition that we girls have no clue about. Or maybe, just maybe, these boys are a little too desperate for attention.

If you want my honest opinion on the matter, I think that it’s equivalent to a photo of a girl dressed up in lingerie or something in the range of slutty or showy. It may be nice to look at, but you wouldn’t want to marry it or even be personal with it. And the name thing drives me up the wall. Really? It’s just asking me to think of you as a pedophile or stalker/creep. It’s too blunt. Don’t you want there to be any mystery for the mind? Boys, you want to let them imagine “What if he’s single? What if he has an awesome bod?” Mysterious = sexy!! Hello and duh!

So men, please, please, PLEASE if you want me to take you seriously, don’t put a picture of your abs as your profile picture.

Next blog will be the twitter-er of the week and something else.

Left over candy and internet safety,

Mary Jane

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My Life Would Suck Without Kelly

The lights dim and the crowd cheers loudly. Then the opener, Eric Hutchinson, takes the stage…..

….and the crowd dies….

Admittedly, Eric has a wonderful voice and a song or two that would make great hits, but they were lost amongst the other similar sounds of bass I IV V chords, easy guitar riffs, jazzy piano and uninteresting drum beats. Case in point, he sounded like a funk/reggae version of Jason Mraz but not as good, and all his songs blended into each other. I must give him major props though for handling the obvious non-involvement from the crowd. He cracked some pretty good jokes to help soften the blow. Really, it was just not the right demographic for him. He belongs more on a college campus, or with the high school crowd.

Enough about him. This blog is about someone better.

Kelly-effing-Clarkson.all-i-ever-wanted1

The audience was screaming for her as soon as the music began, the scrim lifted, and all the sudden WHAM! Lights drench the band and Kelly Clarkson who is belting out All I Ever Wanted. I seriously almost cried. It was totally and completely epic, in every sense of the word.

The following is a list of the rest of the night’s line up (with the album in parenthesis)

Miss Independent (Thankful)
I Do Not Hook Up (All I Ever Wanted)
That I Would Be Good (cover song)
Can Use Somebody (cover of Kings of Leon)
Breakaway (Breakaway)
If I Can’t Have You (All I Ever Wanted)
Never Again (My December)
Lies (cover of The Black Keys)
Walkin’ After Midnight (cover of Patsy Cline)
Acoustic version of Behind These Hazel Eyes (Breakaway)
I Want You (All I Ever Wanted)
Because of You (Breakaway)
Ready (All I Ever Wanted)
~Then there was this awesome horn solo by her saxophonist, trombonist and trumpet player leading into
Since You’ve Been Gone (Breakaway)
Acoustic version of Sober (My December)
Already Gone (All I Ever Wanted)
~Then there was a break where Kelly had a change of outfit and the DJ started playing The Muse and a bunch of other great music into this awesome blend which led into…
Seven Nation Army (The White Stripes cover)
My Life Would Suck Without You (All I Ever Wanted)

This is what I have to say about Kelly: you know all those supposed “stars” who in real life are awful singers? Well, Kelly Clarkson IS NOT one of them!
The only complaint I had was that Kelly did the acoustic version of Behind These Hazel Eyes… I just wanted to hear it belted out in all it’s glory because it’s my absolute FAVORITE Kelly song off of my favorite Clarkson album, Breakaway. Otherwise, it was non-stop amazing vocals and musical talent from Kelly and her band.

You want to know the best thing about Clarkson? She is a REAL woman. She’s not some twiggy little girl trying to be awesome on stage for millions of little 12 year olds. No. Kelly is about my size, which is not small. She has curves, boobs, a butt and arms. And she is beautiful.

Power ballads and true beauty,

Mary Jane

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This Week’s Movie Blog

Halloween is just around the river bend (see that?! Pocahontas reference)! Who’s excited? I am!

But, as the title suggests, this is the first weekly movie blog! I will be talking about 3 (to keep it shorter) new movies coming out that I want to see or, well, don’t want to see. We’ll just play it out, shall we?

This Is It

Today was the opening of Michael Jackson’s film documentary, This Is It. It contains behind the scene footage of  Michael’s preparation for the sold out concert tour that was supposed to take place shortly after the tragedy of his passing. Filled with dance scenes, the inner workings of set designs and costuming, it gives the world a peak of the true genius behind the strange facade that the media painted for the public.

Personally, I’m a pretty big fan of Michael. His music is genius, and he was obviously a very talented performer and dancer. It is such a shame that the world lost him just when we thought were were going to get the old brilliance of M. Jackson back.

New Moon

As a disclamer, I read the first two books within the first year of their publications and read them twice before the third book even came out, so (not to go on an ego trip) I liked the Twilight series WAY BEFORE any of this over-rated hype came about. But I will talk about what I think of the books and Stephanie Meyer later, this is the movie we’re talking about!

New Moon looks to be pretty hot with Jacob growing up and of course the ever mysterious Edward Cullen. I actually don’t like Kristen Stewart as an actress or as Bella, but she seems to be portraying more emotion in this movie (from the trailers I’ve seen), so hopefully she’s gotten better. I’ll write a review once I’ve seen it. And yes, to answer your questions, I am going to the midnight showing, because that’s the only way I’ll go. It’ll be a big event and I won’t feel so lame about going to it.

Bright Star

Bright Star is a drama based on the three-year romance between 19th century poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne. It’s playing in the smaller theaters (Varsity Theater in Des Moines, IA if you’re here!) and will probably appeal more to the alternative/indie crowd.

If the trailer is anything to go by, this looks to be an awesome movie. I do know that it’s been out for a while, but I am dying to see it. The trailer for it is below.

And that is all for me. No blog tomorrow as I will be at the Kelly Clarkson concert which I will blog about on Friday! Also, Halloween decorations in dorms on Friday, too!

Souvenir ticket stubs,

Mary Jane

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